The "F" Word

No, not that "F" word. This one is worse.

Are you ready for it?

Fat.

There. I said it.

Don't worry, I don't have a jacked up body image and this is not some self deprecating post where I go on and on about how fat I am. Because I'm not.

But ladies, I think most of us can agree we have "fat" days. And there's nothing like a three-paneled dressing room mirror and a new bathing suit to shove you right into one.

I'm well aware of the fact that I'll never be a size 2, nor would I want to be. But it occurred to me a couple of months ago that I was not happy where I was. I have figure skating, years of volleyball and genetics to thank for my um, sturdy legs and no matter what I do this will always be the case. But for everything else I have no one to blame but myself. And maybe gravity.

So I've started hitting the gym and eating a little healthier. Up to now it's gone well. I'm not depriving myself of a glass of wine (or two) here and there and I still eat what I usually do, just in smaller portions. I switch up my workouts between kickboxing, spin classes, and body toning/weight lifting. (No running. I hate running. Actually I detest running. Loathe it. Entirely.) And it seems to be working, ever so slowly. I mean, I've actually worn a pair of shorts on more than one occasion, something I haven't done in seven years.

But it's not enough. I have this strange feeling I'm close to hitting a wall. It's not even summer yet and I'm afraid I'm just going to give up. And throw it all away.

So that is the reason for this post. This is my way of holding myself accountable. I'm putting it out there for the world to see...well read anyway. So here goes:

“I, Jennifer Bingham, promise not to quit. I will continue to hit the gym at least three days a week. I will not gorge myself on food and wine. I will wear shorts and believe my husband when he tells me I look great. And I will not use the “F” word when I look in the mirror.”

There it is folks. Consider it a Mid-Year’s Resolution. It’s a new thing but I think it’ll catch on.

Now I know most of the peeps that read this thing are my friends and family so I'm asking you to hold me accountable, too. This means when I say “wanna go grab ice cream?” and you know for a fact I had a big ol’ bowl of it the day before, because I probably did, you must say “negative, ghost rider” or something along those lines. Or when I tell you I'd rather play Angry Birds then take a nap instead of going to the gym, remind me that it's not sexy for my arm to continue waving after I've stopped. And lastly, if you ever hear me use the "F" word when describing how I look or feel, you have permission to smack me.

Here's the goal: be in as good, if not better shape than I was for our wedding and honeymoon.

Lofty goal seeing as how I can't exactly recreate the whole "about to get married" mentality for myself but here's hoping!

Is This Really Necessary?

Unnecessary Item #1: Banana Slicer

I was unaware that slicing bananas had become so difficult. I'm trying to wrap my mind around this one. Apple corer? Practical. Potato peeler? Quite useful. But banana slicer? Really? You do realize that it's going to take you three times as long to clean that thing than if you'd just used a knife, right? I suppose for those of you who require your banana slices to be exact in size prior to falling into your cereal bowl, this is a God send. As for me, I'll stick with my knife or even....my teeth. Don't judge.

Unnecessary Item #2: The Voices Behind Sugarland

Did you know that I've never actually heard one of Sugarland's songs all the way through? And I enjoy my fair share of country music. But Sugarland? I'd rather stick my finger in the aforementioned banana slicer. Just make it stop. The overly fake twang has got to go. Every time I hear "Stuck Like Glue" come on the radio I honestly wish their lips were stuck together with glue.

Unnecessary Item #3: Fast and Furious 5

Fast and Furious Five. Five. Cinco. One two three four FIVE!!! Vin, Paul....come on boys. Give it a rest. And why I am not surprised Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has jumped on board? From one sinking ship to another, I suppose. Oh dear.

Unnecessary Item #4: Scotty McCreery Holding a Microphone

I have yet to determine why this bothers me so. But it's annoying. You're not playing the clarinet Mr. McCreery, you're singing. And making funny expressions and pretending to be gangster. But that's irrelevant. I like his voice, don't get me wrong, but if I were to ever watch this young lad in concert I hope for everyone's sake that he's playing the guitar and not caressing the microphone.

Unnecessary Item #5: Pajama Jeans

They've done it folks! The search is over! Jeans you can wear to bed. Just what we always wanted. I know I've often thought to myself as I'm getting ready for bed that if I could just climb in without actually having to put on a different pair of pants, life would be soooo much easier. And I could even wake up the next morning and head straight to the grocery store and the gym without anyone ever knowing that I haven't changed my pants since yesterday. And the icing on the cake is that if I order now they'll include a gray crew neck T-shirt that I can keep if I don't like my new pajama jeans. But I don't see that happening. You know those tiny little pockets are going to make booties of all shapes and sizes look just fabulous. And "Casual Friday" is going to take on a whole new meaning. Well done pajama jean creators. Jean crisis averted.

Butterscotch Castles

Do you ever wonder what life will be like for kiddos in the future? Yeah, me neither.

Ok, not really. I do wonder and honestly it gives me the heebie jeebies when I really think about. I'm not talking about how much they'll pay in gas or if they'll have to wear SPF 175 to even walk outside. Just regular, everyday kid stuff. My hypothetical kids will never have the kind of childhood I had growing up. Whether that's good or bad, I'm not certain.

After my last post I began reminiscing about what my childhood was really like. It all started with what I was doing the day of the Oklahoma City Bombing and from there my mind was flooded with memories.

Sidenote: Apparently my memory of that fateful day was not as sharp as I thought; after talking with my mom she told me my sister and I had a doctors appointment at 9:30 am that morning. She was originally going to run downtown first to pay the OG&E bill (clearly pre-online bill pay days, well pre online days really) but was running late and decided she'd pay it later, which likely saved her life.

But I digress. Back to the awesomeness of growing up on a cul de sac in northwest Oklahoma City.

As I mentioned before, I went to Harvest Hills Elementary which meant one thing...I was sheltered. Every Friday morning we'd kick off the day singing about Butterscotch Castles and Laundry Land (a place where the occasional sock would disappear to). To all of my fellow Hawks out there, you know it's true.

But the summers were the best and in great part to my dear old pal, Charlie. Charlie was my neighbor from kindergarten until after we graduated high school. When my family moved in right next door it took some time for him to realize that this 5 year old didn't have cooties and we could be friends. But after that we were best buds.

I have Charlie to thank for most of the trouble I got in during those early years. Like the time we dug that 6 foot hole in his backyard, covered it with his mom's new floor mats, then convinced the weird kid from around the corner to jump on the mat. Or when we learned what hairspray and a lighter would do to a shoe. Or the time we built a zip line around his backyard from the giant tree to the trampoline to the jungle gym which ultimately ended in the demise of that tree. Guess it wasn't as strong as we thought.

I remember the first time I said "damn it" Charlie threatened to tell my dad and I was terrified. I pulled weeds out of his mom's garden (his least favorite chore) for weeks to keep his lips sealed.

I also have Charlie to thank for "teaching" me about the "birds and the bees" when I was in third grade. My mom thanks him, too. A few days following my little learning session I went into my parents' room where she was curling her hair and getting ready for my dad to come home from a long business trip. I matter-of-factly stated "you're going to have sex, aren't you?" Thanks for that one, old pal.

Playing football with Barry Sanders

When school was out, we spent our summers outside from sun up until sun down. Everyone did. (Unless, of course, we were playing Nintendo. Not Super, not Nintendo 64, just Nintendo. You remember - the one that had the controller with only two buttons.) And it was nothing on those hot summer days for us to ride our bikes or walk down to the 7/11 most afternoons for a Slurpee. My hypothetical kids will NEVER get to do that. And do you know why? Because I watch way too much Law and Order: SVU, that's why.

But all in all my childhood was pretty picturesque. I could never win a show like American Idol for two reasons: 1) Most would rather hear a cat getting it's tail pulled than to hear me sing and 2.) I don't have a tragic childhood to fall back on to make me more interesting. Unless you consider singing about Butterscotch Castles tragic. Some do.

I Will Never Forget

I may claim Texas as "home" but I'm proud to say I grew up in Oklahoma.

Yesterday marked the 16th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. Sixteen years. It's hard to believe it was that long ago and yet I will always remember that day. I was ten years old sitting in art class at Harvest Hills Elementary. The room didn't shake and windows weren't blown out, it was nothing more than a distant boom. Like thunder. But shortly after the noise, I remember our teacher telling us that our field trip downtown had been cancelled. Little did we know...

One hundred sixty-eight people tragically lost their lives that day, 19 of which were children. It's difficult to fathom such violence and cruelty.

We all know other horrendous and devastating events have occurred since April 19th, 1995 but for Oklahoman's....this will be a day that we never forget.

"We come here to remember those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever. May all who leave here know the impact of violence. May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope, and serenity."

{Oklahoma City National Memorial}

Procrastination....

Putting off until tomorrow what should have been done day before yesterday.

Welcome to my world.

There are pictures of my Christmas tree on my last post. Awesome.

You know what else I noticed as I hopped on the internet this morning? The last search in my Google toolbar is "how to remove waterproof mascara from carpet." I think that gives you pretty good insight to how our weekend went. We have Stella to thank for that one. And to add insult to injury, after a good two hours of scrubbing, blotting, soaking, and vacuuming I soon realized my search should have been "will waterproof mascara make my dog sick?" because the answer is "yes." Black mascara dog vomit...also not fun or easy to clean up.

But I forgive her because she does this...

If Brad and I are on separate floors, she will drag her bed to the middle...blanket and shredded stuffed animal in tow

Watching kiddos walk home from school

Nappin' on Daddy's Jeans

Presh.

She likes to fold the corner of her bed like a pillow.

But not ten minutes after taking a picture like this I will come downstairs to this...

A shredded loofah...typical. Look at that face. Rotten.

Now I'm sure you're all thinking "if she takes this many photos of her dog, she's going to be out of control when she has a child." Valid point. However, Stella is my child. And that's all I need, want and can handle at this point. She's built in birth control. Or as my German doctors called it - anti-baby medicine.

Anyway, so what else has happened lately? Well Super Bowl XLV pretty much took over my life (as well as the DFW Metroplex) for quite awhile there. I "moved in" to the Sheraton Dallas Hotel the Monday prior to the game and had one of the craziest, most exhausting yet exhilarating weeks of my life. Weird, I know but I actually loved being onsite. I rarely left our office on the 37th floor but from what I hear, the lobby of our hotel was THE place to see and be seen. Everyone from Cameron Diaz to The Situation.

We had our up's and down's throughout the week but overall the program went extremely well. The weather tried it's hardest to ruin everything with layer upon layer of ice but we fought through it. I think my favorite part of the entire week was our Super Bowling Party that was held at 300 Dallas. Coach Sean Payton along with about 15 other athletes were brought in to bowl with the group. It went off without a hitch, despite the weather, and I was beyond pleased with how our decor turned out...

Another great event was the Pre-Game Chalk Talk that was held the morning of the Super Bowl. Our guests had the opportunity to hear the one and only Drew Brees discuss his experience in the Super Bowl. However about halfway through his talk, he spotted me from across the room....

And he's all "how you doin?"

And I'm like "Drew, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm a happily married woman."

And he's all "I don't understand why we can't be together."

Then Babe Laufenberg interjects and is all "can we finish with the interview?"

And Drew is all "Jennifer, please don't go. Will you at least take a picture with me."

And who can turn down a face like that?

You're welcome, Drew.

So a few hours after that as we're putting our guests on the bus to head to the game, the whole Genesco crew is surprised with tickets of our own! That's right, I had an actual seat at the actual Super Bowl. Granted it was in a section that SHOULD have been deemed unsafe as the hand rails on the way up literally fell off, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Just after halftime I found myself dozing off. Cut me some slack. I was going off very little sleep and I could hardly even see the game...so I did what any girl would do in that situation - I pretended like I knew what I was doing and where I was going and marched my happy little booty to a suite where my friend was sitting. Worked like a charm.

So that was my Super Bowl experience. And even after all the craziness and drama (that will go unmentioned for legal reasons) and lack of sleep...I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

But that wasn't my only exciting "adventure" over the past month - our dear pal, Jim, came for a visit from Germany. While Jim has spent nearly the last decade abroad, he claims Wisconsin as home. But he "payked his bayg" (in my best Northern accent) for his first real adventure in Texas...which will soon be his new home. What better way to get a taste of Texas than the Professional Bull Riders Rodeo at Cowboys Stadium AND a Toby Keith concert?

Fits right in, wouldn't ya say?

Micah, Jen and Amy...any excuse to wear our boots

He put on a surprisingly good show!

So did this guy

This mullet was rather entertaining, as well. Although Jim pointing at it was probably not a good idea....that was a big man!

The week flew by but we all had a blast. We ventured down to Austin for a few days, we visited my grandparents in Bridgeport, dinner with my mom and Riley, showed Jim what real Mexican food is supposed to taste like, and did a little shopping. Overall, it was a successful trip and Texas is ready to have him back...for good.

And there you have it. We're all caught up, for the most part. I have one mini-adventure to OKC to fill you in on....but I'm tired so it'll have to wait.

Until next time...

The Best Laid Plans...

...of mice and men often go awry.

I love to blog. Even more so, I love hearing from friends and family that they follow my blog. So why is it that the past few months I've posted all of what? Two times? Fail.

I make plans to post....just hasn't happened much lately.

So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to Brad and Happy Birthday to my mom. Bam! We're caught up.

Even if it was almost an entire month ago, I can't not post pictures of Christmas. It was our first Christmas in our new house...

And it was my mom and Riley's first year to have Christmas at their new house. A long time dream come true for my mom. She turned her house into something that belongs in a magazine. (I say "she" but Riley certainly did his fair share, too.)

My mom's Christmas village

The little fishing village...how cool is this?

And the cherry on top was that we were all there.

Hailey, Cody, and Liam drove down from Oklahoma...

Lori, Mike, and Shiner flew in from Florida...

Aunt Kelli and Joel joined us, too...

And of course, us and the pup...

We even got in a little time with the Gonzales clan...

It was a fantastic Christmas with family...

The boys did the dishes...Merry Christmas to me!

Aren't they adorable? A little impromptu dancing...

An "A" for effort on the bow, honey

Brad brought his favorite pjs

This face just kills me...so stinkin cute!

A little smooch for Stella

Cousins

I was so grateful that things worked out the way they did this year. It's always hard to get to see everyone around the holidays but we got pretty lucky. We spent the weekend before Christmas visiting Grandma and Grandpa Beneke then Ma Ma Bingham. My dad and Carmen drove down the Monday before just so we could have dinner together and enjoy a mini Christmas. We spent Christmas weekend at my Mom and Riley's house. Then Debby, Dennis, and Stephanie stopped by on their way through town and we were able to enjoy dinner and another mini Christmas with them. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of any of this which I'm kicking myself for...but we'll always have the memories.

It was nice reminiscing about where we were just one year before...

We celebrated Brad's birthday with a bunch of friends on the 30th and had them all over to our place again the following night to ring in the New Year. I have no pictures to show of this. But believe me, it happened.

And I woke up New Year's Day with a viral sinus infection which knocked me on my butt for almost two weeks. But that's not an exciting story.

What is an exciting story is that I'm working again. I started the middle of December and I'm only contracted through the Super Bowl but so far I'm loving it. It's with a sports marketing consulting agency and I'm working on a program for Verizon. It's Verizon's first year as an official Super Bowl sponsor and I'm working with a small team to plan their events leading up to the big game. The parties and dinners, the athlete appearances, the schnazzy give-aways...it's old hat for some people but I still find it thrilling to be a part of. We'll see what the future holds.

With that said, life is about to get crazy busy until after Super Bowl Sunday. Who know's if there will be another post until after February 6th. But at least I'm telling you now, right? Who knows, maybe Bradley will grace us with his "presence" and do a little posting on our behalf. I wouldn't hold my breath though.

Until next time...