The "F" Word

No, not that "F" word. This one is worse.

Are you ready for it?

Fat.

There. I said it.

Don't worry, I don't have a jacked up body image and this is not some self deprecating post where I go on and on about how fat I am. Because I'm not.

But ladies, I think most of us can agree we have "fat" days. And there's nothing like a three-paneled dressing room mirror and a new bathing suit to shove you right into one.

I'm well aware of the fact that I'll never be a size 2, nor would I want to be. But it occurred to me a couple of months ago that I was not happy where I was. I have figure skating, years of volleyball and genetics to thank for my um, sturdy legs and no matter what I do this will always be the case. But for everything else I have no one to blame but myself. And maybe gravity.

So I've started hitting the gym and eating a little healthier. Up to now it's gone well. I'm not depriving myself of a glass of wine (or two) here and there and I still eat what I usually do, just in smaller portions. I switch up my workouts between kickboxing, spin classes, and body toning/weight lifting. (No running. I hate running. Actually I detest running. Loathe it. Entirely.) And it seems to be working, ever so slowly. I mean, I've actually worn a pair of shorts on more than one occasion, something I haven't done in seven years.

But it's not enough. I have this strange feeling I'm close to hitting a wall. It's not even summer yet and I'm afraid I'm just going to give up. And throw it all away.

So that is the reason for this post. This is my way of holding myself accountable. I'm putting it out there for the world to see...well read anyway. So here goes:

“I, Jennifer Bingham, promise not to quit. I will continue to hit the gym at least three days a week. I will not gorge myself on food and wine. I will wear shorts and believe my husband when he tells me I look great. And I will not use the “F” word when I look in the mirror.”

There it is folks. Consider it a Mid-Year’s Resolution. It’s a new thing but I think it’ll catch on.

Now I know most of the peeps that read this thing are my friends and family so I'm asking you to hold me accountable, too. This means when I say “wanna go grab ice cream?” and you know for a fact I had a big ol’ bowl of it the day before, because I probably did, you must say “negative, ghost rider” or something along those lines. Or when I tell you I'd rather play Angry Birds then take a nap instead of going to the gym, remind me that it's not sexy for my arm to continue waving after I've stopped. And lastly, if you ever hear me use the "F" word when describing how I look or feel, you have permission to smack me.

Here's the goal: be in as good, if not better shape than I was for our wedding and honeymoon.

Lofty goal seeing as how I can't exactly recreate the whole "about to get married" mentality for myself but here's hoping!