Blur.

You know what drives me crazy? When you ask someone how they've been and they answer you with "oh good, just busy." Or worse, just flat out "busy."

That's me these days. It's official, I annoy myself. If you ask me how I'm doing I'm either going to tell you "busy" or just not answer you because I'm that stupid busy.

Life has been flying by me so fast these past few weeks, I can't tell up from down. I'd love to stop and smell the roses.....but I can't. Plus they're all dead. What is this, day 84 of 100+ degree temps?

But seriously, it's been nonstop for weeks now. So if we haven't talked or I haven't responded to a phone call, email or text message...that's why.

Let's recap.

As you may or may not know, I started my new job at the end of June. I'm allowed to say this now because I'm happy and settled there, nor is it any big secret but I was really worried it wasn't going to work out. Things started off really rocky and I came home stressed and unhappy more days than not. But I'm proud to say I've worked really hard, stuck it out and have come to truly enjoy it and the future is looking bright.

I've started traveling here and there which has played a big role in my "busy" factor. I love the travel part, it's just been a matter of timing these past few weeks. I was gone for a few days, came home for a couple, left for a week of vacation (which we'll get to), went back to work a day early, worked that entire weekend and the beginning of the next week for an event we had here in Dallas, closed that out, then left again for another event in Orlando. But at last I'm home for a bit and the light at the end of the crazy-schedule-tunnel is in sight.

In other news, Brad has his bag packed up and his boots tied tight (if you don't know the quote...we can't be friends) and had his first day back to school on Thursday. He'll be spending the next two years studying his little heart out to get his MBA. I could not be more proud of him.

Now for the fun stuff...vacation.

Brad and I road-tripped it to southern Colorado with my sister and brother-in-law in one car (and hilarious cousin for part of the way) as well as my dad, stepmom, grandparents and other cousin in the other car. Not the most exciting adventure with it being west Texas for the majority of it but I'm not complaining. God Himself told me not to. No really, he did. The FM transmitter I had hooked up to the iPod occasionally would disconnect and during a rant about "God quitting after he finished Colorado because west Texas blows" the iPod became disconnected and the Christian talk radio station in the background gave us all an "HONOR GOD!" that had some of us choking on our gum.

But I digress. Colorado was fantastic. We spent five days at the ranch my family goes to every other year. This was our first time back since the summer of 2007...and it hasn't changed a bit. I kid you not, when I think about Heaven, I imagine this place.

Evening stroll a.k.a. Bear Hunt....didn't see any that night.

Our first full day at the ranch a few of us thought it'd be fun to pack lunches and go on a half day horseback ride through the mountains. Don't get me wrong, it was great...I just don't know that we'll ever walk the same again. Five and a half hours was a bit much for this gal.

The following morning we packed up the jeeps for our trek to Lost Lake. A tradition that I look forward to every year we go.

We spend about an hour or so driving up the mountain along a rocky path. And by up, I mean up. At one point we had to bust out the wench just to get moving again. This part of the journey had me wondering if my internal organs were all where they should be and at the very least, grateful I'd packed a sports bra.

See the snow? That's the general direction we were headed.

Once we arrived at the the clearing where the jeeps couldn't go any farther, we stopped for lunch and finished the rest of the journey on foot. It's a steep hike and while there are markers here and there, the goal is "head towards the top of the waterfall."

Then we get to the top and there's this incredible lake with nothing but gorgeous scenery everywhere we turn. And the greatest part about Lost Lake is the fishing.

T.K. and Cameron, my silly cousins

In the past we could throw a line out without any bait and fish would fight over it. That was my kind of fishing. This year was different. I didn't catch a single flippin' fish! Not a one! Zero. Zilch. Nada. Brad will tell you he caught 16...and if he wasn't pulling the hook out of one's mouth every time I'd look over, I'd tell you he was lying.

I pouted.

Yup, I pouted, lost interest, then started hiking up higher and got this view which made me less pouty about the fishing situation.

I also found several of these Columbine flowers growing out of the rocks which put the smile back on my face.

Another highlight of my trip was waking up extra early to watch the horses be brought in to the stables. My mom did this several years ago and said it was just incredible to be standing there as they ran past you. So I stood in between two big trees, camera in hand, praying the horses didn't run me over and this is what I caught...

It was a bit of a rush. Pretty awesome.

One afternoon the boys drove into the closest town for a day of golf. I opted for another (shorter) horseback ride and was finally able to see a bear. My trip was complete.

While waiting for the group to return from golf I went for a long walk, mostly in search of another bear.

Caught this on my little "bear escapade"

I could have sworn I heard one which made me panic...then I realized it was just my jeans rubbing together. Still, I hightailed it back to the lodge. And did a few lunges in my room.

The week flew by and in no time we were loading up to head home. But not before our traditional family picture.

Lots of good memories. I'm sad it'll be at least another two years before we go back.

Love you, Granddad!

Our sweet grandparents with the grandkids

But now that we're home and work is slowing down and Brad has started school....the goal is to find a routine. Let the balancing act begin.

I refuse to let the "f" word creep back into my life which means making time after work for the gym. I still want to continue cooking most nights. I still want to see our family as often as we can. I still want time for happy hour every now and then with friends. AND it's time for college football which takes up our Saturdays. Not to mention, this house doesn't clean itself.

But if you ask me tomorrow how I'm doing, I promise not to answer you with....."busy."

Latest Happenings

Did you miss me? It's been so long I don't really know where to start. I've put off blogging for quite some time now. Obviously.

I think it was in large part to the fact that I had this cloud hanging over me, a cloud better known as "no career path" and every time I sat down to write something it seemed like I should be explaining why I wasn't working and even more so turning down offers. When the fact of the matter is.....I don't have to explain myself. This is MY blog. And I can talk about or not talk about whatever I want. Right?

But you're wondering if I got a job, aren't you?

Well to answer your question....yes, yes I did.

But it's been two months. A lot has happened in two months and not much has had to do with my J.O.B.

Let's catch up, shall we?

I've discovered the best perk of moving back from The Deutschland...lots of time with family.

And the last time you all saw this little guy he was only 6 months old. He's growing and growing right before my eyes and continues to melt my heart every time I see him. Being an aunt is so much more amazing than I ever could have expected.

No seriously, I adore everything about him. I mean, look at that face.

It's a shame I don't want one anytime soon...Stella could have a playmate.

In other news, I celebrated a birthday during my hiatus. And my darling husband got me something I've had my eye on for months. As you may or may not know, we usually cook 5 or 6 nights a week and as you also may or may not know, I HAVE to write everything down. Which means if I don't write down every meal that I've bought ingredients for the weekend prior, I WILL forget and things go bad. Sooooo, he got me beautiful chalkboard to go in our kitchen to write down our weekly menus. I'll post pictures once it's arrived. The way I see it, we're saving money here.

We also celebrated the day of my birth by spending the weekend at the lake with or dear pals, Micah and Aaron. Oh, and our pups.

Lili in her bikini

Fireworks seemed like a good idea. Here I am waiting for my Roman Candle to blow up...while drinking a glass of wine.

These two were in the zone making omelets.

Thank you for a fabulous weekend, Grandma!

My other bestie, Amy, was sick the weekend of my birthday festivities but we made up for it the following weekend. (I'm dying to tell you what she did for my birthday, because she's awesome, but I love it so much I'm probably going to use the same idea down the road and if it's for you I'd hate to ruin the surprise. I'm doing you a favor, really.)

And last but not least was our 4th of July Celebration. This year was big time. Not only were we celebrating Independence Day...we also celebrated my Grandpa's 80th, my Grandma's 75th AND their 35th wedding anniversary. You celebrated the same thing? Na uh.

We spent they day by the pool and on the lake and the party kicked off that evening with 60 close friends and family.

Taught the kiddos how to shoot off fireworks...in broad daylight.

Cousins

Dinner

We rounded out the weekend with one more day by the pool. Stella was a happy camper.

That pretty much sums it up. Despite the heat, we've been thoroughly enjoying our summer.

Well, I now have to wake up bright and early in the morning to be a contributing member of society so details on the new gig will have to wait. Don't ask Stella what she thinks about it...this is the look I get everyday when it's time for me to leave:

Here's hoping it's not another two months until we meet again...

The "F" Word

No, not that "F" word. This one is worse.

Are you ready for it?

Fat.

There. I said it.

Don't worry, I don't have a jacked up body image and this is not some self deprecating post where I go on and on about how fat I am. Because I'm not.

But ladies, I think most of us can agree we have "fat" days. And there's nothing like a three-paneled dressing room mirror and a new bathing suit to shove you right into one.

I'm well aware of the fact that I'll never be a size 2, nor would I want to be. But it occurred to me a couple of months ago that I was not happy where I was. I have figure skating, years of volleyball and genetics to thank for my um, sturdy legs and no matter what I do this will always be the case. But for everything else I have no one to blame but myself. And maybe gravity.

So I've started hitting the gym and eating a little healthier. Up to now it's gone well. I'm not depriving myself of a glass of wine (or two) here and there and I still eat what I usually do, just in smaller portions. I switch up my workouts between kickboxing, spin classes, and body toning/weight lifting. (No running. I hate running. Actually I detest running. Loathe it. Entirely.) And it seems to be working, ever so slowly. I mean, I've actually worn a pair of shorts on more than one occasion, something I haven't done in seven years.

But it's not enough. I have this strange feeling I'm close to hitting a wall. It's not even summer yet and I'm afraid I'm just going to give up. And throw it all away.

So that is the reason for this post. This is my way of holding myself accountable. I'm putting it out there for the world to see...well read anyway. So here goes:

“I, Jennifer Bingham, promise not to quit. I will continue to hit the gym at least three days a week. I will not gorge myself on food and wine. I will wear shorts and believe my husband when he tells me I look great. And I will not use the “F” word when I look in the mirror.”

There it is folks. Consider it a Mid-Year’s Resolution. It’s a new thing but I think it’ll catch on.

Now I know most of the peeps that read this thing are my friends and family so I'm asking you to hold me accountable, too. This means when I say “wanna go grab ice cream?” and you know for a fact I had a big ol’ bowl of it the day before, because I probably did, you must say “negative, ghost rider” or something along those lines. Or when I tell you I'd rather play Angry Birds then take a nap instead of going to the gym, remind me that it's not sexy for my arm to continue waving after I've stopped. And lastly, if you ever hear me use the "F" word when describing how I look or feel, you have permission to smack me.

Here's the goal: be in as good, if not better shape than I was for our wedding and honeymoon.

Lofty goal seeing as how I can't exactly recreate the whole "about to get married" mentality for myself but here's hoping!

Is This Really Necessary?

Unnecessary Item #1: Banana Slicer

I was unaware that slicing bananas had become so difficult. I'm trying to wrap my mind around this one. Apple corer? Practical. Potato peeler? Quite useful. But banana slicer? Really? You do realize that it's going to take you three times as long to clean that thing than if you'd just used a knife, right? I suppose for those of you who require your banana slices to be exact in size prior to falling into your cereal bowl, this is a God send. As for me, I'll stick with my knife or even....my teeth. Don't judge.

Unnecessary Item #2: The Voices Behind Sugarland

Did you know that I've never actually heard one of Sugarland's songs all the way through? And I enjoy my fair share of country music. But Sugarland? I'd rather stick my finger in the aforementioned banana slicer. Just make it stop. The overly fake twang has got to go. Every time I hear "Stuck Like Glue" come on the radio I honestly wish their lips were stuck together with glue.

Unnecessary Item #3: Fast and Furious 5

Fast and Furious Five. Five. Cinco. One two three four FIVE!!! Vin, Paul....come on boys. Give it a rest. And why I am not surprised Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has jumped on board? From one sinking ship to another, I suppose. Oh dear.

Unnecessary Item #4: Scotty McCreery Holding a Microphone

I have yet to determine why this bothers me so. But it's annoying. You're not playing the clarinet Mr. McCreery, you're singing. And making funny expressions and pretending to be gangster. But that's irrelevant. I like his voice, don't get me wrong, but if I were to ever watch this young lad in concert I hope for everyone's sake that he's playing the guitar and not caressing the microphone.

Unnecessary Item #5: Pajama Jeans

They've done it folks! The search is over! Jeans you can wear to bed. Just what we always wanted. I know I've often thought to myself as I'm getting ready for bed that if I could just climb in without actually having to put on a different pair of pants, life would be soooo much easier. And I could even wake up the next morning and head straight to the grocery store and the gym without anyone ever knowing that I haven't changed my pants since yesterday. And the icing on the cake is that if I order now they'll include a gray crew neck T-shirt that I can keep if I don't like my new pajama jeans. But I don't see that happening. You know those tiny little pockets are going to make booties of all shapes and sizes look just fabulous. And "Casual Friday" is going to take on a whole new meaning. Well done pajama jean creators. Jean crisis averted.

Butterscotch Castles

Do you ever wonder what life will be like for kiddos in the future? Yeah, me neither.

Ok, not really. I do wonder and honestly it gives me the heebie jeebies when I really think about. I'm not talking about how much they'll pay in gas or if they'll have to wear SPF 175 to even walk outside. Just regular, everyday kid stuff. My hypothetical kids will never have the kind of childhood I had growing up. Whether that's good or bad, I'm not certain.

After my last post I began reminiscing about what my childhood was really like. It all started with what I was doing the day of the Oklahoma City Bombing and from there my mind was flooded with memories.

Sidenote: Apparently my memory of that fateful day was not as sharp as I thought; after talking with my mom she told me my sister and I had a doctors appointment at 9:30 am that morning. She was originally going to run downtown first to pay the OG&E bill (clearly pre-online bill pay days, well pre online days really) but was running late and decided she'd pay it later, which likely saved her life.

But I digress. Back to the awesomeness of growing up on a cul de sac in northwest Oklahoma City.

As I mentioned before, I went to Harvest Hills Elementary which meant one thing...I was sheltered. Every Friday morning we'd kick off the day singing about Butterscotch Castles and Laundry Land (a place where the occasional sock would disappear to). To all of my fellow Hawks out there, you know it's true.

But the summers were the best and in great part to my dear old pal, Charlie. Charlie was my neighbor from kindergarten until after we graduated high school. When my family moved in right next door it took some time for him to realize that this 5 year old didn't have cooties and we could be friends. But after that we were best buds.

I have Charlie to thank for most of the trouble I got in during those early years. Like the time we dug that 6 foot hole in his backyard, covered it with his mom's new floor mats, then convinced the weird kid from around the corner to jump on the mat. Or when we learned what hairspray and a lighter would do to a shoe. Or the time we built a zip line around his backyard from the giant tree to the trampoline to the jungle gym which ultimately ended in the demise of that tree. Guess it wasn't as strong as we thought.

I remember the first time I said "damn it" Charlie threatened to tell my dad and I was terrified. I pulled weeds out of his mom's garden (his least favorite chore) for weeks to keep his lips sealed.

I also have Charlie to thank for "teaching" me about the "birds and the bees" when I was in third grade. My mom thanks him, too. A few days following my little learning session I went into my parents' room where she was curling her hair and getting ready for my dad to come home from a long business trip. I matter-of-factly stated "you're going to have sex, aren't you?" Thanks for that one, old pal.

Playing football with Barry Sanders

When school was out, we spent our summers outside from sun up until sun down. Everyone did. (Unless, of course, we were playing Nintendo. Not Super, not Nintendo 64, just Nintendo. You remember - the one that had the controller with only two buttons.) And it was nothing on those hot summer days for us to ride our bikes or walk down to the 7/11 most afternoons for a Slurpee. My hypothetical kids will NEVER get to do that. And do you know why? Because I watch way too much Law and Order: SVU, that's why.

But all in all my childhood was pretty picturesque. I could never win a show like American Idol for two reasons: 1) Most would rather hear a cat getting it's tail pulled than to hear me sing and 2.) I don't have a tragic childhood to fall back on to make me more interesting. Unless you consider singing about Butterscotch Castles tragic. Some do.

I Will Never Forget

I may claim Texas as "home" but I'm proud to say I grew up in Oklahoma.

Yesterday marked the 16th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. Sixteen years. It's hard to believe it was that long ago and yet I will always remember that day. I was ten years old sitting in art class at Harvest Hills Elementary. The room didn't shake and windows weren't blown out, it was nothing more than a distant boom. Like thunder. But shortly after the noise, I remember our teacher telling us that our field trip downtown had been cancelled. Little did we know...

One hundred sixty-eight people tragically lost their lives that day, 19 of which were children. It's difficult to fathom such violence and cruelty.

We all know other horrendous and devastating events have occurred since April 19th, 1995 but for Oklahoman's....this will be a day that we never forget.

"We come here to remember those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever. May all who leave here know the impact of violence. May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope, and serenity."

{Oklahoma City National Memorial}