A Little Slice of Heaven with a Side of....Not Heaven

Get comfortable, you're in for a ride...

What's better than spending your vacation on a beautiful island in the eastern Caribbean Sea? I'll tell you - having your mother get married to a really great man on that beautiful island surrounded by more than 30 close friends a family members. Absolute bliss.

Brad and I recently returned from our second honeymoon in St. Lucia. Ok, so it wasn't really about us but for the record, we've made it six months folks!

I'll start off by telling you that in my mom's next life, she should come back as a wedding planner. It's all in the details. I mean, you know it's going to be pretty amazing when the wedding "invitation" comes in a glass bottle filled with sand, sea shells and a tiny umbrella with the actual invitation inside. She went as far as to soak the cork in a coconut oil or something so when you opened the box it just smelled beachy. And that was just the beginning.



When we arrived at the resort each couple received a big beach tote that was filled with sunscreen, chapstick, and other essentials for the beach as well as a "booklet" of activities that had been arranged (massage appointments for everyone, birthday party celebrations, dinners, a happy hour cruise, etc.) and each page was completely customized. If you can't tell, I was totally blown away. To my DFF girls, you all would have been so proud. :)

The first night, we all had dinner together in the main pavilion followed by A LOT of dancing. Brad and I were feeling rather jet lagged and crashed before things got really crazy...which they did. From what I heard, A LOT of dancing was followed up by A LOT of cocktails. Birthday girl's cake ended up in her face (her own doing) and most everyone ended up in the pool in their clothes by the very end of the night. Brad and I missed it all. :(
The next day was spent lounging around the pool, drinking fruity cocktails and catching up with my sister while the boys played golf. We had rehearsal that evening down on the beach (obviously) followed by a fabulous dinner at the resort's Piton Restaurant. My mom's wedding was the largest wedding they'd ever had so they let us have the whole restaurant all to ourselves and provided a live band. Soooo much fun!

The following day was The Big Day and my mom was the picture of cool. Completely relaxed and stress free. (Must be in our blood, I was the same way on my wedding day.) Everyone had massages throughout the morning. What a way to start off the day. I had a hot stone massage....if you ever have the opportunity to do that, do it! After an impromptu "Bridal Luncheon" in our swim suits, no doubt, it was time to get ready.
The "Getting Ready" part was followed by the "Waiting" part. Wouldn't you know that the nastiest looking storm rolled in about 10 minutes before we were supposed to be down on the beach. Fortunately, it rolled in and rolled right out. Whew! That could have been bad.

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful! "Happy" just isn't the right word to describe the way Riley and my mom looked....it was so much more than that. I wish we could do it all over again. (Only this time, I wouldn't trip on my dress down the aisle. Yep, believe it. Every bridesmaids worst nightmare. I don't think many people saw it though. At least that's what I keep telling myself.) We had hors devours and champagne for about an hour followed by a beautiful dinner right on the beach. The perfect end to a perfect day.




But the party wasn't over yet! One more day of fun in the sun only to be topped off with a sunset catamaran cruise. With the exception of the ceremony, this may have been my favorite part. The mountains on one side and the sun setting into the ocean on the other. It was amazing! And then surprise birthday cakes for me, Hailey, and Lori weren't too shabby either. Again, cake ended up in people's faces. What's up with this group and cake in the face?


The evening ended with a tasty hibachi dinner at Kimono's Restaurant. Then Brad and I said our goodbye's as we were heading out early, early the next morning. :(

Here is where the "Side of Not Heaven" comes in. Brace yourself. Brad and I were up at 4:15 am to catch our shuttle to the rinkety dink airport. Here's how the day was supposed to go - St. Lucia to San Juan to Miami to Frankfurt. Simple enough, right? Wrong. A one hour delay out of St. Lucia ruined everything!!! Because of the delay, we would miss our connection in San Juan and the next flight out of San Juan would cause us to miss our connection in Miami. Wonderful. Plan B was to fly to New York from San Juan. Uggghhh. At this point Brad and I pinky swore to each other that no matter how bad the rest of the day got, we would not get frustrated with each other....only everybody else. We made it to New York just fine and spent the next 6 hours hanging out at JFK. Silver lining - our plane started boarding right when they were expected to and we were taxiing down the runway right on time. Eeeeerrrrrkkkk! Here's where it got bad.

We're heading down the runway and we stop. Turn around. Head back to the terminal. And sit. Apparantly, the landing flaps weren't operating correctly. I guess it's good we figured that out before we had to land. I was so tired, I just put my headphones on and tried to go to sleep. Lucky me, I have a window seat right next to the wing. I'm watching the guys with the neon orange vests work on the plane and I realize heat is being emited from just below my window and it's getting hotter. Knowing that this couldn't be normal I get up and find the nearest flight attendant to explain my little delimma. She kindly asked that I "please take my seat." To which I kindly replied it was too hot to sit there. And here's how the rest played out:


Flight Attendant: I apologize for the inconvience but could you please take your seat?
Me: I'd rather not. It really is quite hot.
Flight Attendant: Ok, well, why don't you ask the people around you if they are hot, too.
Me: Are you serious?
Flight Attendant: I'll need to know if it's just your seat.
Me: I promise I'm not lying to you. Would you like to sit in my seat and feel it?
Flight Attendant: Please ask those around you if they are hot too.
Me: Ummm, ok. Excuse me, are you all hot?
Other Passengers: "Oh my gosh! I'm dying!" "I thought it was just me!" "What? Do they have the heat on or something?"


Ha, lady! I told you I wasn't lying. Once the other people around me agreed that it was, indeed, sweltering in our area, Little Miss Flight Attendant Chick decides she'll come check it out. She puts her hand on the wall below my window and says "oh, it's not actually the wall that's hot, it's just that hot air is blowing in from this vent and it's making the wall feel hot." I don't know what my face had to have looked like at that moment because that was quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Oh. Well thank you Sherlock Holmes for determining that the wall itself wasn't going to spontaneously combust all over me but I could care less WHAT is hot, the fact of the matter is - IT'S HOT! So I (politely) refused to sit down. I honestly did not make a scene but after the day we'd had, I really wanted to.


They claim to have turned on the AC but I think they were lying. Tick. Tick. Tick. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. This went on for FOUR hours! Some guy in the back passed out from what had to have been heat exhuastion. Oh, and we had to refuel the plane just from sitting there. As I was standing in the aisle of the plane leaning against my very tired husband, we look at our watch and notice that if our flight out of St. Lucia had just left like it was supposed to, we would already be home. I wanted to die.


But I didn't and we finally took off. Eight and a half "short" hours later, we landed in Frankfurt. Customs was, of course, a nightmare but we made it through that, too. Hopped on the train, luggage in tow. It was rush hour so we took a cab the rest of the way once we arrived in Mainz.

Home sweet home.....

NOT!

Somebody had a little "party" while Mom and Dad where away and that somebody would be Miss Stella. A neighbor, who had offered (I might add), to watch Stella didn't agree with keeping her in her crate. Sure, it breaks my heart to put her in there when I have errands to run, chores to do and what not, but lest we forget - Stella is a 5 month old labrador puppy who is teething, no less. And what does a 5 month old labrador puppy do when you are not watching them 24/7? They chew, poop, and pee. And that is precisely what she did. Everywhere. Everything. Dining table, dining chairs, dresser, her own bed, decorative orbs (they are called orbs, not balls), peed all over every inch of our hardwood floors and even on the couch, poop residue all over the place.

Who? Me? I didn't do it.

I don't think I have to explain how we felt at this point. We have since then invested in a Steam Mop as the vacuum cleaner and Swiffer just weren't cutting it with this mess. The house has been put back together and we've returned to the crate training routine with Stella. If you think I'm a bad mother to our dog (like our neighbor does):

a.) I've done my research on crate training and it is definitely a good idea
b.) I don't care

Whew! That was exhausting. So there you have it. Our little slice of heaven with a side of....not heaven. I think I'm ready for another vacation. :)

There are tons of pictures from our trip at traciandrileystlucia2009.shutterfly.com. The password is stlucia.